Guilt and…

There is a feeling of guilt because I haven’t actively pursued the 50,000 sit-ups and pushups this year. It’s part of what we are supposed to do as a member of the I Ho Chuan team. There is a feeling of guilt whenever I let myself rest, a feeling of guilt because I’m not perusing my career(s), a feeling of guilt that I’m not living up to the I Ho Chuan requirements… so many feelings of guilt. All this despite having the knowledge that rest is healthy, that overdoing it is not healthy. Allowing yourself time to recover is an important part of good health. There’s a fine balance between pushing past your limitations, towards mastery, and over doing things and preventing mastery, or at least slowing it down. Finding that balance is, in itself, a part of mastery.

I can say that by reducing the sit-ups and pushups there has been a lot less pain. The joints feel less like gravel and a little more smooth. My body feels better able to handle everything else. I feel more capable. Not doing so many pushups means my shoulders allow me to do more of my sword form. Am I wrong to think that? Given a choice between my body letting me do pushups or sword form, isn’t it more beneficial to do the sword form?

It’s the same with the sit-ups. Less pain, more ability to do other stuff, such as certain kicks. Those kicks seem to be improving as well.

Maybe I have the wrong attitude? Yet I want to do better, and it feels like this is letting me, even though there is that feeling of guilt and uncertainty.

Numbers

Pushups: 1050

Sit-ups: 634

Sword Form: 95

Da Mu Hsing: 213

Random Acts of Kindness: 25

Sparring: 130

Kilometres: 409

Memorize Mastery: Not so diligent on this one lately.

Nurture Relationships: Have had some more opportunities to do this in the last week or so.

Blogging: 14

Declutter my life: Worked a bit on decluttering outside this time. Removing things and redesigning for a more Japanese -ish style garden so that maintenance will require less time in the future.

Greatcoat project: still back-burnered for gardening season.