Monday May 8th, my dog Zero died. He was about half way through his 14th year.
Wednesday night I tripped in Kung Fu class. Caught the toes of my right foot in my left pant leg and fell face first onto the floor. Managed to avoid having my face hit the floor, and my neck muscles wouldn’t let me forget about all the hard work they did making that possible. It was my fault really. I wasn’t fully present because I arrived with feelings about my dog and a sore back, made even more unhappy by jumping jacks in the warm up.
Several days, some Arnica, Ginger, Turmeric, and my massage therapist later I’m feeling much better. The neck muscles are still letting me know how under appreciated they are and that they resent having to hold my head up during things like sit-ups, planks, and things that cause compression, like jumping jacks, but it’s much better than it was. For a few days I had to use my hands to help pick my head up off the pillow when getting up from lying down because the muscles just refused.
Sunday, we adopted two, nearly four months old, Belgian Malinois puppies.
Mixed emotions - Been dealing with mixed feelings about adopting so soon after Zero’s departure from this life. Missing him, yet relieved that we no longer have to be responsible for a dog that wasn’t’ safe around other people and dogs. Feelings of betrayal (or is it guilt?) at getting new puppies so soon. Feeling a little guilty because I’m enjoying dog training again. Yet we had planned long ago that we would get at least one dog after his time with us was done, and that we wanted to do so as early in the warm season as possible because I don’t want to have to train a puppy from the ground up in the middle of winter again. We wanted dog(s) that could be guardian dogs and possibly work cattle if (when) we ever get any.
That brings me to mindfulness. It has allowed me to have, and recognize two emotions at the same time. I CAN miss my dog AND be excited at working with new puppies all at the same time.
Training every day. We’re told all the time in Kung Fu class that there is Kung Fu every day, even if there is no Kung Fu class. Training new puppies reminds me that there is dog training every day too. We’d gotten out of the habit because of Zero being old and his mental state limiting so many of the things we have done with dogs in the past. The work I’ve been doing on meditation has also shown me that there is meditation, not just in sitting and meditating but, meditation, or mindfulness, all the time.
Pomedoro now has new meaning for me. When the timer goes off it’s time to…
Stop work
Pay attention to my breath and come back to the present moment, If I wasn’t there already
Take the puppies out for a short training (a.k.a. play) session - I need to be in the present moment for this so that I am fully aware of when they are checking in with me and giving me signals about what they are doing, about to do, and how well they are processing.
Do a little Kung Fu something (forms, sparring, etc)
I have often talked about how I take on too much and need to learn how to say “no”. Still need to keep working on that, but I’m glad I decided that it was my thinking that needed to change and not my alarm clock settings. I’ve meditated every day for over a week now, and don’t think I could have handled all this if I hadn’t. Is it still hard to get everything done that I’ve committed to? Yes. Yet somehow, it’s been less stressful this week, than it normally would have been. Somehow, I’ve been able to do a little more but in less time.
Still doing the morning pages, which has helped me prepare my mind for meditation and mindfulness. The two days I missed doing this were a little harder than the others.
How does all of this affect my Kung Fu training? More kilometres with the puppies. More attention to detail. More awareness. More mindfulness. Numbers still aren’t what I would like in most cases but they do continue to grow. I am... as always... a work in progress.
Push-ups/equivalent: 745
Sit-ups: 5962
Weapon form: 348
Hand form: 34
RAoK: 95
Sparring: 277
Kilometres: 480
Nurture Relationships: 17
Blogging: 18
Drawing: 5
Meditation: 20
Great Coat Project: awaiting planned time to start (Autumn)
One on ones: 6 Need to remember to book some more.
Comments