Frustrations
lack of progress
numbers slowed to almost nil
lack of motivation, or self-discipline, or both?
Sifu Hayes, I think that's who was speaking at the time because I couldn't see who was talking in the video/live-stream, said "hurt messes your mind up". It is strange how something that generally makes me feel good, better, healthier, mentally sharper, stronger, can also be something I'm not always motivated to do.
I'm frustrated with myself because I know better!
Injury
Sifu Cosgrove said when you keep injuring yourself it means you're"out of balance". She is so right! I knew this but, what I didn't know was, what to do about it? I didn't know what exercises to do that strengthen the opposing muscles. Thank you to my fellow student (sorry I didn't catch your name) who gave me some exercise ideas!
Numbers
I think I finally see why Sifu Brinker said something to the effect of, not to get hung up on the numbers. At the IHC meeting last night people were saying, if you can only do one per day then do one, don't injure yourself trying to do more. The point is to create a regular habit of doing.
Permission
Perhaps what I need to do is to give myself permission not worry about the pushup numbers. For some strange reason worrying about it has caused me to not get some of the other stuff done, like situps. Doesn't make logical sense, but that seems to be the way my mind has dealt with it.
Accomplishments
Because I need to acknowledge them.
Cleaning up, renovating, and de-cluttering has been a longer process than I wanted or hoped for, but I think it's helping. Each day I come into the office/clinic and find my desk empty, or nearly so. There's something psychologically uplifting about that (at least for me) as opposed to the piles of paperwork and files that used to occupy it. There's still more to be done, but the progress is there.
Keeping a paper journal has continued to be helpful for me. Things aren't "slipping through the cracks" the way they used to when I kept trying (over and over again) to use digital methods.
My research project hours have been increasing. Insulin resistance is a wonderful "rabbit hole" to explore. I've cemented knowledge I already had and found new things to explore that I wasn't necessarily expecting. For example, I hadn't come across the link with Schizophrenia until I started this project.
My Random Acts of Kindness (RAoK) numbers have been mostly on track - 609 so far
My kilometers are on track - 1264 km so far this year.
Moving Forward
I want to work more on my balance. Not sure if that was the cause of not getting a new stripe the other night or not (adds to the feeling of lack of progress), but I need to work on it none the less. This means focusing more on the kicks that require some degree of spin or pivot (i.e. side heal, round house, spinning back kick).
Why am I in IHC?
This question was asked at the IHC meeting last night and the first thought that jumped into my head was, because I want to be a better version of myself. Not sure if I'm accomplishing it, but I hope so.
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