“This space that has been granted to us rushes by so speedily and so swiftly that all save a very few find life at an end just when they are getting ready to live”
~ Seneca
Has anyone said this to you?
When someone says, they “don’t have time”, they’re really saying, “I don’t want to.”
I’ve heard it many times. Often at business networking meetings, but also from various types of coaches, as well as people in general. They are usually trying to convince you of something, to do something, and tell you that saying “yes” is “saying yes to opportunity”. They’re using guilt to make you feel that you have to say “yes” because only a stupid person would say “no” to opportunity, and no one likes to feel stupid. Many people who say that may not realize that’s what they are doing, they may have great intentions (some not) for the people they are talking to. Good intentions or not, I finally realized (took me long enough, I know *rolls eyes*) that I don’t deserve that kind of guilt!
It’s interesting how this year of decluttering has also become a year of saying “no”. Learning to flex that “muscle” of being able to say “no”, because I’ve never been very good at it. Learning to get comfortable with the discomfort of saying “no”. I’ve always done things as though I had an infinite amount of time, which usually bit me in the behind when I couldn’t follow through because I had taken on too much… again!
When I say “I don’t have the time” that’s what I really mean! There are so many things I want to do in this life but I cannot do them all because, even if I live to be 80 years old, I only have about 4000 weeks of life, and I’ve only got a little over 1000 of those weeks left, barring unforeseen circumstances.
Decluttering hasn’t just been about physical objects but about other things as well. Learning what things I want to continue doing and what things I need to let go of even though I like them but they don’t meet my… needs?… requirements?… goals?… life design?… season of life?…
This was the first year that I only did one event in the Tiger Challenge. I planned go help at the back-to-school Kwoon care week on only one day, when usually I come for all of them, but life changed even that plan and I didn’t make it there at all. The changes aren’t just centred around Kung Fu and the Kwoon though. I’ve been learning to say “no” in other situations too. For instance, I have decided to retire from clinical practice and from teaching.
During this declutter year I have taken a sabbatical from clinical practice and teaching. I’ve been wanting to do it for a number of years but was afraid to do so. Then circumstances changed and made it easy. The feeling of weight lifted off my shoulders has been immense! I always worried that it would be a waste of all the time, money, and education to stop and so I kept pushing myself. Now I realize how much I needed to let go of that (yup, guilt seems to be a theme with me) and that there are things I want to do in my life while I still can, and it means being able to let go of things I like in order to do them. I’m fortunate to be in a position where I can take such a step.
Me saying “no”, even to some of the Kung Fu school things is me feeling out where my boundaries are, and where I want them to be. Right now I find myself clearing out as much as I can… to make space, to figure stuff out.
Numbers:
Pushups/Equivalent: 2217
While it’s true that my shoulders give me grief that doesn’t really explain how dismally low these numbers are. I need to think about what to do instead since what I’ve been doing is obviously not working. Definitely finding that static exercise (eg. planks) of the joints are mostly fine but movement under weight/pressure is extremely limited before pain and inflammation is caused.
Sit-ups/Equivalent: 1568
Discovered some more exercises that can be equivalent, and that hopefully won’t hurt my back, so I’m looking forward to seeing improvements on these numbers.
Weapon Form: 268
It feels like I’ve done more than this of both my forms but these are the recorded numbers.
Hand Form: 277
RAoK: 82
Yup, still keep forgetting to write them down. Been working mostly digitally this year and it looks like I need a blend with the old fashioned paper instead.
Sparring: 145
Kilometres: 1088
I miss having my Kung Fu classes included in this but it seems to be advancing appropriately anyway.
Memorize Mastery: Not good right now.
Nurture Relationships: This continues to get better, I think. Reaching out to more people than I used to, and they are responding in kind.
Blogging: Better than previous years, so I’ll take that as a win. Normally, once the growing season is here, I stopped almost entirely. This year I’ve written a lot more blogs and even if I didn’t get them done each week I believe I can still make sure that I get a minimum of 52 written by the end of this year.
Declutter my life: Slower than I would like but life keeps happening. Most of my main floor of my house has gotten a first pass. Now the basement! As mentioned above there has been a very big declutter in life that I finally decided on.
Great Coat Project: Waiting for the weather to make outdoor work not really possible.
Notes:
In case you’re interested, check out the book: “4000 Weeks” by Oliver Burkeman
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